Before I get to how to buy pepper spray, I gotta tell you I’m feeling like there’s something bubbling beneath the surface this morning that needs to get out. It’s kind of like a volcanic heat, or a white phosphorous grenade, for those of you familiar with ordnance.
Yesterday on the telly the story was AIG. Outrage! More outrage!
Yeh, Ed Liddy, the CEO, has a tin ear, but that ain’t the real story. And no, AIG executives, who ran the company into the ground don’t deserve a nickel.
The real story you should pay attention to, is the goofballs who were basking in the well of the House and Senate, taunting AIG executives with confiscatory taxes if the money isn’t returned. The brigade was led by our wonderful friend Chuck Schumer, the senior Senator from New York.
Chucky ranted and raved while his compadre, John (Boy) Kerry listened and nodded and harrumphed encouragement, or that he could use a bathroom break to get rid of the previous night’s filet de boofe.
But here’s a little known fact you might want to know about. The candidates who received the most money from AIG are:
1. Christopher Dodd – shocking right? Ha. Wherever you see, or don’t see, corruption, Chris Dodd just happens to be there…watching the building collapse. But he’ll set everything right for sure.
2. Chuck (U Farley) Schumer – Can you believe it? The guy leading the charge against AIG took the second highest amount of campaign contributions.
3. President B.O. – That’s right ladies and gentlemen…El Jefe squeezed in third in the campaign dough sweepstakes…followed of course by…
4. John (The Reformer) McCain – who was followed by…
5. John (Boy) Kerry
6. Joe (Indie) Lieberman
7. Joe (it’s not fair) Biden
Sure…there were a smattering of Republicans who took money too…but 85% of those who took AIG money were in the Dumbo Party. (Hey, it’s a lot easier to collect those big bundles.)
Their money should be taken away.
Give them a fine.
Kick them right out of their offices too.
They can come to my house and scrub some toliets. Nice way to spend the rest of their hypocritical, disgusting lives. Oh, or maybe they can be forced to live with Nancy Pelosi. Maybe that’s too harsh.
So…you want to buy pepper spray.
Let’s pretend you want it to defend yourself, your family, or even your idiot liberal cousin from New York. Or Massachusetts, or Connecticut.
You have to think about a few things.
1. The environment (and I’m not talking about Climate Change).
2. The locale.
3. Range
4. The heat
You should be asking yourself:
Am I going to be inside or outside? Is there wind? Is it raining? If I’m inside and use pepper spray what do I do next? When do I strike? Do I hit multiple times? How strong should my pepper spray be?
In my opinion, nothing beats power. Which is why I love Wildfire. It will burn the balls off a bear in moments. But sometimes you might rather have the Mace Pepper Gun, which can shoot up to 25 feet. No, it doesn’t burn like the 10th level of hell, but sometimes you don’t need more than Level I or II. And believe me, it will put down a mook.
Let’s face it, all pepper spray is effective. It’s a deterrent, and a very good one. I believe that some deterrents work better than others, and they leave a psychological scar on a mook. Wildfire leaves a permanent mark on a mook’s psyche, and he will always equate whatever his attempted crime was to horrendous pain.
The Mace Pepper Gun can take a mook out from a good distance.
But to be effective, you must buy pepper spray and keep it on your person – I love that phrase. It sure as hell isn’t going to do much for you sitting in a warehouse. (I pity the fool…)
So buy pepper spray if you want protection.
And dream of the day you get attacked by a dirty, unshaved mook who looks like Chris Dodd…(spray spray…Oh is that you Senator…spray spray…I know it hurts…spray spray…what did you say there…spray spray…did you ever give back that AIG money?)
Yes, we can dream. Somehow just imagining a scenario like that helps.
Well, it helps me anyway.
Tags: security services, lost social security card, hospital security, private security, social security name change, physical security